He Said/She Said

Having conversations with the opposite sex can at times be very difficult. Many people probably find it frustrating to start conversations or keep them going with the opposite sex. Males and females are different. This is not a new idea. No matter how old we are, we still get confused and frustrated in attempts to interact with the opposite sex. Men and women are raised in different cultures and have difficulty in communicating with the opposite sex. In Deborah Tannen's Sex, Lies, and Conversions, she explains why there are often time conflicts in a discussions between males and females. She goes into details as to how we differ, why we differ, and how we can overcome our differences in communicating so that we can have healthier and better relationships with each other.

One night I was watching a program were a girl was unset with her roommates, who were in relationships, who were sleeping in the same bed with on another. She felt uncomfortable with the idea of her roommates sleeping in the same bed together. I tell my friend about this scenario and he says, "There's nothing wrong with that, they're only friends." He had no problem with the idea of two people from the opposite sex, with girlfriend/boyfriend, sharing a bed. We then had an argument on whether or not it was appropriate for a boy and a girl, who calm their just friends to sleep in the same bed with one another.

According to Tannen, males and females perceive the world differently. Guys tend to see themselves in a hierarchal pattern. They live in a social order, life is often seen as a contest, and conversations are for status. Meanwhile, women tend to see themselves has a community and seek intimacy and understanding. Therefore, conversations are for supporting and consensus. There are few misunderstandings and sparks fly when males talk to males and females talk to females. The reason, according to Tannen, is we understand the world and language of our gender.